with your own penis?
operation have a gay friend backfired
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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