Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
