Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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