garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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