Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
