so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
