I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
