did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
