it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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