I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
