it was like his penis was on wheels.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
