You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
