Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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