doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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