his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
