i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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