the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
