where am i from again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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