i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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