K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to have your abortion
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.