Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.