she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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