She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
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It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me