you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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