Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
