She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
