i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
