why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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