where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
