hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
