chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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