Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
