a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize