He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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