Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
