Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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