turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
