i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
