I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
