there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize