He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
