Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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