M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.