im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
