I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
