My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"