Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (964) Bad night (1484)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

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  (801): My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef. http://tfl.nu/9csw
  Replies (31) Good night (698) Bad night (4829)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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  (630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4599) Bad night (744)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (1055) Bad night (6488)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

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  (302): Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now http://tfl.nu/i71d
  Replies (15) Good night (830) Bad night (4520)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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  (203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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  (407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj
  Replies (3) Good night (1493) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all

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  (831): I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all http://tfl.nu/rp5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1442) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

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  (701): He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it http://tfl.nu/1dio
  Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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  (530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp
  Replies (4) Good night (334) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.

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  (617): she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon. http://tfl.nu/r3ld
  Replies (13) Good night (382) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.

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  (360): someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me. http://tfl.nu/y65y
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (514)

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