So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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