Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
