Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
