matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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