Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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