just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
