my being single is dangerous.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize