Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
