duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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