i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
