shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
