hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.