Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..