Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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