is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.