Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
