I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
