You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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