Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
